A Friendship Build of Love and Differences

It's comfortable to be friends with like minded people, but have you ever considered a friendship built on love and differences? If you open yourself to the idea and commit to going deeper, well beyond the differences, I promise a unique experience that God will use to help you grow. You might even find a true friendship built on love and differences that teach you life lessons beyond your wildest dreams.

We are now living in a time when our differences from one another often are enough to call it quits before we allow ourselves to know someones true spirit. Many of us are guilty of assuming we know someone because of no more than a political view. I know that in the world today we live among those who would have you believe that racist and hateful people are everywhere except at the podium of the one pointing the finger. I challenge you to turn away from living a life based off of lies. It is easy to fall in the trap of believing that a person of a different race, faith, or economic background would turn from you, but it is mostly only true for those who are buying into the same lie themselves, and therefore have their own guard up.

Allow me to tell you about the most precious friendship of my life, my polar opposite, Joanna. I met Joanna when I was running an agency operated foster home in New York. Joanna was the Independent Living Skills (ILS) worker. When we met, we were opposite in almost every way, but it was our common interest in the welfare of the teenagers entrusted in our care and a mutual respect for one another that sparked a friendship. Joanna and I had different faiths, different political views, and different beliefs in parenting techniques. We dressed differently, ran our homes differently, and our career paths ended up going in a different direction. Yet, we were friends.

While we were different in ways that might seem too much to overlook, I learned a lot about myself and discovered endless new things to incorporate into my life that I loved. It was often that we asked each other in heartfelt interest what the other was reading, cooking, listening to, watching... Our discussions were teaching moments for both of us. While we didn’t always agree, we learned to see each others point of view. Neither of us were too prideful to not be willing to change our stand if we saw a reason to do so, and we showed each other grace in those times when we saw things too differently to find any common ground.

One of the most beautiful thing about our friendship was that it blossomed into spending time with each others families, where some of my best memories were formed. These times were spent outside of political conversations and were rooted in a place of commonality, happiness, laughter, and the fact that we both desired the best for our families. Oh, and those differences in parenting techniques? It turned out that Joanna was that rare friend who I have called upon for advice when I was struggling with one of my children, and she has done the same. It’s good to get a different perspective.

I have often wondered if we were given the same opportunity at that age, but in the world today, would Joanna and I had a friendship built on love and differences? I like to think so. I am just grateful to have the opportunity when we did. Joanne and I now live over 1200 miles apart, but she is close to my heart, and will be forever. May each and every one of you be able to set aside your differences long enough to see the possibilities of forming a meaningful relationship with someone outside of your circle of beliefs. May you learn from one another, allow yourself to discover some commonalities, and set a better example of love, understanding, and tolerance for generations to come.